Since the advent of internet 2.0, tech companies have been the backbone of the stock market and with it the economy, but for the life of me, I have no idea what a tech company is. ‘Tech’ is such a nonsensical term, as tech gets treated like a recent development, as though companies haven’t been leveraging technology forever. It isn’t like ,with this new appreciation for technology, we grandfather older companies on the forefront of old technology like GE and AT&T as tech companies.

‘Tech’ is a nonsense, and when you hear a Silicon Valley figure try to explain tech, it gets wild. I remember listening to a news podcast where a Tech CEO explained a tech company as something that is instantly scalable, and thinking, “What is this silliness?” I swear ‘tech’ is a cover for not having an honest structure or strategy. For all the optimistic jargon you hear about tech and ‘disruption,’ it sure doesn’t feel that these companies are leveraging their technology to disrupt old industries, but rather deceive investors and the general public about the nature of their business. These Silicon Valley companies aren’t any different than the companies that came before them, outside of the deception used to skirt scrutiny. Call yourself a tech company, and all you need is a proof of concept for the software that is integrated into your products and services.

At their most basic, the tech giants that dominate our economy are not really anything fantastical, despite the insistence that they are ‘tech.’ Apple is primarily a hardware company. Microsoft is primarily a software company. Amazon is primarily a retailer. Tesla is a car company imagining itself as something else. Alphabet and Meta try really hard to not be seen as data brokers, despite being exactly that. There are companies with similar profiles to tech companies that we would be foolish to call ‘tech’ simply for the fact that they existed prior to the allowance of such a silly term to define their businesses.

Apple sells hardware, some software, has an online storefront for software, and has a creative arm for entertainment development. Similarly, Microsoft sells software, some hardware, has an online storefront for software, and has a creative arm for entertainment development. Similarly still, Sony, which nobody mistakes for a tech company, sells hardware, some software, has an online storefront for software, and has a creative arm for entertainment development.

Amazon has an online storefront, a brick-and-mortar presence, has private label products, handles their own logistics, and dabbles in streamed digital content. Walmart, another company that nobody mistakes for a tech company, has an online storefront, a brick-and-mortar presence, has private label products, handles their own logistics, and had dabbled in streamed digital content. Outside of AWS, their isn’t much differentiating Amazon and Walmart. If/When AWS gets spun off of Amazon, these two companies will remain quite similar.

Tesla is the biggest joke of the bunch as far as their presentation as a tech company. Tesla makes cars, but make you imagine that you are in effect driving a computer with wheels. We never really make too much of what the power source of a vehicle is when it comes to gasoline or diesel, but now that electricity is the power source, we have to think differently? Chevy and Nissan have been making electric cars for more than a minute now, but they are not getting partial credit for being ‘tech.’

The worst deception of the tech giants comes from Alphabet and Meta. You hear ‘search’ and ‘social media’ when they are discussed by the media, but at their core, they are data brokers. Google Chrome and Facebook are more or less vehicles for the companies to collect data, which they then leverage to their customers for advertising revenue. They are not much different from all the data brokers that are vilified by the media on TV and the antivirus software on your PC.

Deception isn’t only reserved to tech giants, either. Netflix gets treated as a tech company despite little differentiation between themselves and the bevy of streaming alternatives out there. AirB&B is a participant in the hospitality industry that avoids the regulations of the industry. Door Dash is a food delivery service that eats into the cost of restaurants, deliverers, and customers. I guess that they have an icon that you can tap on your phone makes them something magically ‘tech.’ I don’t get it.

It is hard to take the modern, tech-driven economy seriously if tech companies aren’t serious about presenting themselves honestly. I suppose there is no incentive to do so, since their stock values keeps rising. I suppose if those that spearhead the economy embrace the fantasy, that we all have to play along, no matter how absurd.

Whatever.

Soundtrack for the day on Spotify, 07312024:

1. Savage – Megan Thee Stallion
2. 帆 – AiNA THE END
3. Low Rider – War
4. Yeah Yeah Yeah – Uniao Black
5. God – Tori Amos
6. You and Your Folks, Me and My Folks – Funkadelic
7. Criminal – Fiona Apple
8. Koi Geba – ATARASHII GAKKO!
9. ゆきこさん – ミドリ
10. Hell – Squirrel Nut Zippers
11. El Dia de Mi Suerte – Willie Colon, Hector Lavoe
12. Guajira 78 – Greenwood Rhythm Coalition
13. Because the Night – Patty Smith
14. Milk ‘Em (MHE Dusty Mix) – Ghostface Killah
15. Battle Flag – Lo Fidelity All Stars Remix – Pidgeonhead, Lo Fidelity All Stars
16. Soul Clap – Show Biz & A.G.
17. Lookout Weekend – Debbie Deb
18. A Cause des Garcons – Yelle
19. Once in a Lifetime – Talking Heads
20. New World – L’arc en Ciel